We’re going to Disneyland soon, and Sophie’s hoping we see the new Disney princess, the purple-loving, blue-eyed Sofia I read about a couple weeks ago. Yes, there’s a new Disney princess, and she and Sophie have a lot in common. When Sophie mentions Sofia, I change the subject. I never should have brought it up. […]

I’m dashing off to Target this morning. Last minute Santa shopping. And the fourth night of Hanukkah. Being a non-observant Jew married to a fallen Catholic is exhausting. And expensive. That’s not to say we’re ignoring the real reason for the season — we’ve had great times with family and friends and it’s not even […]

Every year I’m tempted to write a post about how much Sophie reminds me of the title character in Elf — then I remember I already did that, years ago. Possibly more than once. It was another Elf moment at swim lessons a week ago, I’m told. Here’s some photographic evidence. Thank you, Courtney and […]

Dear Santa, I love you. You’re the best Santa Claus I ever had. I love Christmas. I want paintbrushes and baby stuff, too. We are watching Elf right now and I saw you on Elf. But you are fake on Elf. What’s your favorite color and what’s all the reindeers’ names and I love you […]

We have a new babysitter starting tonight, and she’s Jewish. Not Jewish like me, but Jewish like I suspect she actually goes to synagogue. So I’m feeling a little self conscious about the giant Christmas tree in our living room. In our nearly 14 years of marriage, Ray and I have often had trees, but […]

I heard a small voice behind me. “Where’s Sophie?” I’d been wondering if anyone would ask. It was almost halfway through the Saturday night performance of the Snow Queen, and the sprites — already covered in green glitter, hair teased in ponytails all over their little heads – were putting on their unitards and wings, getting ready for their […]

I do not relish my role as the R-word police. I particularly do not enjoy calling it the R-word (if you are not versed in this subject, the R-word s “retard”). I much prefer picking on people for punctuation than word choice — after-fucking-all, I work at an alt weekly, the kind of fucking place […]

I cracked up when I saw the press release for “A Very Gaga Thanksgiving” — which I didn’t catch on TV over the holiday weekend, mainly because we were busy being entertained by our own GAGA, my mother. (Plus, I can’t tell you the name of a Lady Gaga song.) This drawing of her grandchildren — […]