Smile!
posted Wednesday September 7th, 2011
Last night Ray and Annabelle hit the rock gym, while Sophie and I hit the couch.
Sophie had the sniffles, and in a rare moment of family consensus, it was determined that a mellow evening and early bedtime were in order. Sophie and I texted friends, watched some Nick Jr., and took pictures of ourselves til our faces hurt. The photo shoot was the best — even if the photos weren’t. Sophie and I both cracked up, trying to get a good shot of the two of us together.
Looking over the photos, I realized that most of mine captured Sophie — with just my big mouth in the background, grinning like mad as I groped for the “shutter” button on the Hipstamatic. What I’ve always called a Courtesy Smile.
Sophie smiles a lot, but she doesn’t have a courtesy smile. Annabelle does. So do I. You probably do, too: That big fake smile you flash when someone pokes a camera — or a tough situation — in your face.
Tomorrow afternoon I’ll slap on a courtesy smile and head into Sophie’s school for a one-month-into-the-school-year-how’s-Sophie-doing meeting with her “team.” Everyone from the principal to the classroom aide will be in attendance, including the district’s special education coordinator, who has been attending our meetings since I upped the ante last spring and hired a lawyer to represent Sophie.
Sophie’s lawyer won’t be there tomorrow, she doesn’t think it’s necessary. So I’m on my own. I’ve been scribbling notes on scraps of paper and the back of my hand, sending myself email reminders all week so I don’t forget anything. I’m a mess. I have no idea what I’m doing, and there’s no time to get a degree in special education (and several years experience in the field) before tomorrow.
Nothing terrible has happened so far this school year (that I know about) but third grade is a Big Year and I can already feel Sophie starting to slip. It’s up to me to keep her from falling.
Really, I have nothing but questions to bring to this meeting. Questions, and a big smile.
Funny, Sophie was the one who managed to get the whole picture, when she got ahold of the camera phone.
i love these photos. love love love love love.
How about “sharing the problem,” a technique that I like to use when I know we are supposed to pretend to be cooperative, but we all know that we aren’t. So you lay out your observations (Sophie seems to be slipping, you are concerned because of x, y and z) and then you say “I have some ideas about how we might address this, and I am very interested to hear your ideas as well. I am sure that working together we can come up with a plan.” That way, you are moving immediately to constructive problem solving, and you discourage a debate about whether your observations are right. They just are right. And you’ve moved the discussion to how to move things along. Just an idea, for whatever it’s worth.
Wow, Poke Princess sounds like she’s been around this block a few times. Great advice.
I have a similar pit in my stomach…just met my son’s preschool teacher this morning. He’ll be in an inclusion classroom for the first time at this school and I’m really nervous. It’s such a big year – almost an audition for his kindergarten year and listening to the curriculum I just felt my stomach clench. No reason to expect problems, but it’s new territory. I’m thankful his IEP date falls next month so we have some time to get him settled and then set realistic goals.
Once again, thanks for sharing your experiences. It so helps to have a little picture of what’s to come.
The pictures are great! It is so good to see YOU!
fantastic (love the first one the best).
Good luck today! <3