Should We Be Writing About Our Kids? Part One
posted Wednesday July 21st, 2010
Both my girls are getting more interested in what I’m doing on the computer.
Well, Sophie just wants me off, so she can get on and watch Amy Sedaris’ Tooth Fairy appearance on Yo Gabba Gabba (which is so disturbing I will not embed the video EVEN THOUGH I CAN). But Annabelle has asked me recently just what I’m writing about, and when I tell her “you,” I get one of her signature raised eyebrows.
It’s only a matter of time ’til she actually reads this blog. I’m not sure how I feel about that. Or how she will.
The topic of The Implications of Writing About Your Kids (and otherwise depicting them) has long intrigued/befuddled me, so I think I’ll devote my next few posts to it.
First up: Check out this thoughtful piece by Dani Shapiro in the New York Times, on the topic of Larry Rivers’ work.
More soon. Meantime, what are your thoughts?
My professional opinion is that you should refer to your children under carefully chosen pseudonyms. Perhaps Ariana Knickerbocker or Diddly Squatenberger. Or something with a more ethnic flair such as Nosey Nosenstein. Then, even though they might suspect that you are writing about them, they can’t really prove it.
Of course, if it were me, I would just write the most dreadfully embarrassing things about my children just so I could watch their reaction when they become computer literate. Things like “Diddly [see? I'm using a pseudonym already] picked her nose and farted simultaneously today. Plus she was wearing striped shorts with the zipper open and a plaid shirt that was inside out. In short, she was a mess.”
Don’t worry. I’m not a parent. For obvious reasons.
#1: I think Todd would make an amazing parent.
#2: My kids would kill me if I wrote what really happens around here.
#3: It’s more important that I make up a fake name (I can’t spell pseudonym) for my husband Mr. Shtucker Bacher (Todd, help me out here…you are better at this.) He’s the one I really can’t write about.
(I used spell check so pseudonym was corrected.)
This is akin to my post “blogging is not Journalism 2″ (http://starrlife.wordpress.com/2010/07/02/blogging-is-not-journalism-2/). I read the Dana Shapiro article. Hmmm….
I use a pseudonym for myself and do not put my daughters name on the blog but will share both names with others in comments or emails. I’ve caught some disdain from others who consider a pseudonym as underhanded or untrustworthy somehow. I know my friend, who is a writer/journalist believes it is essential to put ones name on ones work. But I have been through a blog war (my first blog) and it turned out to be good to have as little true identifiers as possible in that situation.
As for what my daughter would think- I don’ t put anything on the blog I wouldn’t say to anyone IRL or show anyone. That either means my daughter is always embarrassed by me or I’m careful
I certainly would not graphically photograph their sexual parts for sure!
Great topic Amy (or should I call you Tooth Fairy).
Amy, nice subject. On the topic of pseudonyms, I used “writing about my children” as a fear tactic. I would often tell my son and daughter when they were procrastinating or simply taking way too long to complete a task that I was going to “publish that children’s book about ‘Piddler & Dawdler’ after all. I even showed them rough sketches of what they looked like in this form. “No Mommy! No Mommy! Don’t do it! …Which one am I?” Somehow that mattered. Now that they are older, it only matters that I write about them EQUALLY right down the middle!
Thanks, Amy! Hope you’re well.
haha! i like todd’s idea!
My baby (now 19) vacillates between not reading my blog for months at a time, telling me to write about her more and, every now and then during an embarrassing moment declaring, “Mom, do NOT blog about this!” So, either way, you’re screwed.
Oh, man, I have no clue. I started my blog when I was in such a postpartum/new diagnosis tailspin, there’s no way I was even thinking about things like pseudonyms.
I try not to put anything really identifiable. No last names. No exact location. (Although I’m sure there are tons of clues, if anyone really cared.)
I don’t know. I guess I’m thinking that it’s an evolving story, and we’ll figure it out later, if my kids are hurt or offended we can talk about it then. But for now I feel like my blog has helped me enormously, so my kids have benefited from it (how crazy would I be without it? I shudder to think.)