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Anyone Have a Cure for the HeyMoms?

posted Tuesday October 9th, 2012

I have a raging case of the HeyMoms.

It came on two weekends ago, and no matter how much rest I get, how well I eat (I’ve even taken my Centrum for Women horse pill of a multi-vitamin religiously each morning) I can’t shake them.

It started suddenly, in the car, on a Sunday afternoon.

“HeyMom!” Sophie called from the back seat.

“Yes, Sophie?”

“What are we doing tonight?”

“I’m not sure, sweetie.”


“Yes, Sophie?”

“Can I sleep in your bed tonight?”

“No, sweetie, it’s a school night.”


“Yes, Sophie?”

“Can Sarah spend the night?”

“No, not tonight, but definitely sometime soon.”





(Annabelle): “Mom, Sophie’s trying to ask you something.”

“Oh, gee, I’m sorry girls. I must have turned the radio up too loud to hear you. Yes, Sophie?”

And so it goes. On and on — and on — with the questions. (And the refusal to accept most answers.) The questions begin most mornings before I’ve even opened my eyes (“HeyMom! You up?” “HeyMom! What are we doing tonight?”) and follow me to the bathroom  (“HeyMom! You have to go pee or poo?”) and end, often, as she dozes off on the couch at night, mid-sentence. (“HeyMom! Can I stay up a little la-….”)

The HeyMom thing has been going on as long as I can remember, and it’s never really bothered me — til that Sunday afternoon. I’m not sure what happened. The questions weren’t out of the ordinary. It’s just that suddenly, there were a lot more of them. Ray has recently reported a bad case of the HeyDads, so I know I’m not completely nuts. I thought it was the full moon, but that’s over and on it goes.

Sophie is amped. ADHD and un-medicatable (is that a word?) — the American Nightmare.  Most days I’m pretty happy Sophie’s mended heart prevents us from even considering drugs to calm her down, make her focus, but the HeyMoms have made me a little wistful.

All I need is a break, I thought to myself that Sunday. I’ll be better after I get a good night’s sleep/escape to Safeway alone/get back to work.

No go. From the first HeyMom that Monday morning, I was frazzled. And continue to be.


“Yes, Sophie?”

“When are we going to Tucson?”

She’s been asking for weeks. Tomorrow we’re going away overnight — it’s her fall break, so we’ll drive to Tucson, just the two of us, to visit friends. Two full days of HeyMoms, yes. But I’m hopeful this will shake it, because it’ll also be two days of relaxing, of few plans and no agenda. Time to hang out, to say yes when she asks for chocolate ice cream. To give her my undivided attention.

I haven’t tried to explain to Sophie that I have the HeyMoms. I wouldn’t begin to know where to start. But she knows. She can’t stop herself, but inevitably, I notice, just before I’m about to truly lose it, this happens:


“Yes, Sophie?”

“Mommy, I love you.”

“I love you, too, Sophes. I love you, too.”

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Tags: Filed under: Down syndrome by Amysilverman

3 Responses to “Anyone Have a Cure for the HeyMoms?”

  1. Hilarious, and with the ring of truth…..

  2. My 6 year old granddaughter says, “Mama” when she wants something. My daughter-in-law is well aware that this will not last forever, and savors that sweet little voice.
    I rmember the ‘HeyMoms’ well, and it can be annoying. Just relaize that too soon Sophie will be entering her own world, and you’ll miss them (yes, really!)

  3. Maybe you could distract her with a poodle puppy.

    Just a thought.

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