Does Annabelle know what society has in store for Sophie?
posted Thursday September 15th, 2011
I looked down the grocery checkout counter yesterday afternoon, right into Sophie’s face.
It’s not so jarring anymore. Megan has worked at our Safeway for years, quietly bagging groceries and avoiding eye contact, clearly well-versed in the concept of Stranger Danger, even if the stranger is a frazzled-looking mom type complimenting her cute headband. Of course she and Sophie don’t look exactly alike, but the similarities are unavoidable, and Ananbelle’s face lit up when she noticed Megan, stage-whispering, as we walked away, “She has Down syndrome!”
Annabelle doesn’t see people with Down syndrome much. Me, either. It sparked a conversation.
“Do you think that’s what Sophie will do when she grows up?” I asked, tilting my head back toward the store as we rolled through the parking lot and began unloading groceries.
“No,” Annabelle said. “I think Sophie will be a pediatrician.”
“Really?” I asked. “You really think she could do that?”
Long pause.
“Yes I do. Or maybe a dentist.”
I didn’t say anything.
What does Annabelle really think? It’s so hard to know. These first few weeks of fifth grade at a new school have been so stressful, full of growing pains. But good, too. I feel her stretching in big and small ways; yesterday was the first time she voluntarily unloaded groceries from the cart without being asked. She’s started asking me questions about my job.
Does Annabelle know what society has in store for Sophie? Does she know something I don’t know? Or is she simply indulging in a fantasy?
Either way, I love that kid.
“I think Sophie can be whatever she wants to be,” Annabelle added, climbing into the car and buckling her seat belt.
“So do I, sweetie,” I said under my breath, as I started the car. “So do I.”
So sweet. But I think Sophie is going to be a photographer and helping her sister build her fashion empire with her artsy photos.
I believe I understand the thoughts you’ve attempted to share. Thanks.
Thank goodness for our children who thrive like your precious Annabelle.
My adult child with DS may not be thriving; I attribute this to post-divorce sequelae.
Pre-divorce, we had a plan for his independent living; today he still lives with “at home”. Not sure why, but it will never be open for discussion (without attorneys). I will always have a grey cloud in my soul about all this.
My response-thought is that healthy homes, including single parent homes, are among the best gifts we can provide for our children to thrive; hooray for you and others for whom life has allowed this.
Best wishes to all.
robertpolk — thank you for getting that i don’t have any of this all worked out in my head — yet (ever?).
i think “thriving,” for all of us, has a lot of different definitions. i’m uncomfortable with there appearing to be just ONE option for sophie — bagging groceries. (i did see a woman with DS picking up trash on campus at ASU years ago.)
we should all have lots of options. but of course lots of circumstances limit all of us from making those options endless. and that’s not always a bad thing. just a tough one to understand when you are 10, and sometimes tough to be reminded of when you are almost 45.
Maybe she will be a writer like her mom:
http://www.amazon.com/Count-Us-Growing-Syndrome-Harvest/dp/0156031957
I also meant to add- get that quote from the psychologist out of your head. If it had never occurred to you that Sophie had the cognitive ability of a 3 year old, she probably doesn’t. You spend more time with her and you believed she was doing well so did her teachers. “Experts” don’t know everything.
Beautiful & honest story Amy. And the work we do & the roles we fill aren’t the issue. It’s the love we live that matters. Truth to be told it is not what you do that matters so much as who you are. Your little “who’s” sound like they are evolving nicely.
My daughter has worked for a grocery store for 18 yrs & lived through the process of whispered “what’s the matte with…” and intense nearly crosseyed looks. But she has been continuously employed for 18 yrs. All work is honorable. So I know that weighing a soul’s worth has nothing to do with it. My kiddo is also talented-HFA has marked her life but she has other means of expressing her personal best.
You reflect on society-having a child who is drawn outside the lines of normal, will change you and Annabelle as well. It will make you deeper and give you and the folks around you a run for their money so to speak.
And remember on the bell curve of intellect-bright folks are as much and oddity as those of lower cognitive ability. We call ‘em ‘sports’-really, anything too far from normal.
I’ve told my daughter something to rmember: Different people make all the difference in the world. Truth out.
I Love this post, love Annabelle, of course and I love Sophie, and I love you!
That being said I so agree with Susan, on everything……
I am the first college educated person in my family- a family with lots of smart people in it who have worked whatever jobs life has presented to them – factory work, making potato chips, dept store, cabins….
Profession does not a happy life make, nor does it measure intellect – I know this from knowing many professionals who lack both of those qualities except perhaps according to IQ tests
Life is our true profession and I have no doubt that Sophie, with a family like you, will have a great life!