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My Dear, Sweet Little Mean Girl

posted Friday April 3rd, 2009

What started off as sweet this morning turned ugly by this afternoon.

I just listened to a voicemail from Ms. X. Sophie actually made a little boy at school cry today, insisting that he’s not invited to her birthday party.

I can’t believe this. Here I’ve spent all of her life (well, except for the three days before we knew for sure that Sophie had Down syndrome) worrying that my daughter would be excluded from birthday parties and guess what? She’s the one doing the excluding.

She’s a Mean Girl!

I know, I know, developmentally she doesn’t get it and of course I’ve created this monster (as previously admitted) by making such a big f-ing deal out of birthday parties.

Ms. X reported that she had a stern talk with Sophie, but wanted me to know this had happened. (For which I’m grateful.)

But now what? Do I threaten to cancel the birthday party? Ban all birthday party discussion? Refuse to allow her to attend other kids’ parties?

I know I can’t do any of that. I’m waiting to hear back from Ms. X.

Ooops, she just called. Don’t do any of that, she said. It’s just a power thing. Her advice: Have a talk with Sophie — don’t even mention that anything came up at school — and reiterate to her that everyone will be invited to the party. That’s what Ms. X did during their “serious talk” this afternoon, she said, and afterward Sophie told the little boy he could come.

Gee, how nice of Sophie.

I’m still horrified and mortified and all the “fieds” that apply, but as always, I do feel better after talking to Ms. X, who reminded me that Sophie’s not the first kindergartener to do this, and admitted that the whole thing was actually sort of funny.

But still.

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4 Responses to “My Dear, Sweet Little Mean Girl”

  1. Dude, this is why we always had the “one friend for every year of your life” rule. That way, we could exclude LOTS of kids.

    I was talking to Sophie about Jack and I asked her if she thinks I’ll like him. She said. “Yes. He bites.” I asked, “Do you think he’ll like me?” She said, “No. He bites.”

    Eyes. Soul

  2. Well. Not everybody is going to like everybody. Kids just show it better, that’s all.

  3. The irony is too much! I have to say I’m with Tricia on the multiple exclusion thing. Birthday parties are so politically loaded aren’t they? We can avoid it since my daughter’s birthday is in early September so there isn’t a whole class of kids to deal with.
    Exerting her power, I kinda like it! That means she can stand up for herself!

  4. Ha, I was never so popular that anyone minded not being invited to mine — partly because I never talked about it at school that I recall. (My birthday is also in very early September, and I went to a different school every year until third grade — God, my parents are monsters — both of which resulted in a lot of my classmates not even knowing who I was at that point each year.)

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My Heart Can't Even Believe It: A Story of Science, Love, and Down Syndrome is available from Amazon and 
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