I spent much of the last week in search of a lactating goat. It seemed vital that Sophie actually witness an animal being milked, as part of her science fair project: learning how to make butter.

I always lose my mind at science fair time. Last year a friend helped Sophie build a carousel out of rubber bands and styrofoam; another time Annabelle taught her classmates about Down syndrome, no small task. There’s no way to do the science fair thing (particularly with Sophie) without putting in some parental blood, sweat and tears, but I figure as long as the kid is engaged and actually learns something, that’s okay. (And it makes up for the fact that I’m really crappy about doing Sophie’s regular homework with her.)

“This is hard work!” Sophie exclaimed this afternoon, as we neared the end.

Indeed. Not counting the wild goat chase (I never did locate one), we did research on YouTube, visited a farmers market and a restaurant (none other than FnB, home to the amazing chef Charleen Badman, who was sweet enough to take the time to show Sophie her way around a KitchenAid), and expended plenty of elbow grease shaking a bottle of cream til it (really and truly!) became butter. Then came the logbook, the report and the backboard with photos and captions.

I’d do it again in a flash and I know Sophie would, too. She’s really proud of her finished product. Here is her report, which she dictated (almost entirely).

She chose the title: “Sophie and Her Mom Making Butter”

PROBLEM STATEMENT: HOW TO MAKE BUTTER?

What is butter made out of? I wanted to know. My mom said that to me that butter is made out of milk.

My cat Lulu, I felt her stomach, and it felt like pimples and then my mom told me that that’s where milk comes from.

And then we went to the farmers market and we see baby goats that aren’t having babies yet and when they have babies the mama gives milk to them with her nipples.

So then we went on YouTube and then this farmer squeezed this cow’s udder and it made milk.

Cream is a thick form of milk. You make butter out of cream.

And then we went to a restaurant called FnB and Charleen the chef – I said hi to her and we came into the kitchen and she gave me my very own apron and then she maked the butter. I helped, too.

First, I poured in the cream in the Kitchenator (KitchenAid) and then I turned it on and it was spinning like this for an hour (a few minutes, actually) and then when it’s ready we took it out and it stirred some more another hour (another few minutes) and then I ate it on a crouton. I loved it.

The cream was liquid and the butter was mushy. Charleen told me that when you mix it, it changes colors and makes butter.

My mom wanted to know who first made butter. She learned at FnB that it happened when a horse was pulling the wagon (with milk in it) and shaked the whole thing and it turned butter.

We went to the store and we got some paintbrushes for Sophie and cream. And then we came home and unloaded the groceries. Then took a bottle. We put the cream in and we shooked it a lot (from 2:53 to 3:08). I did, then Mom did, then Annabelle (my sister). And then after that we took it out and then we took a piece of bread and put on butter, it’s orange butter (because my mom used a Vitamin Water bottle) and then I tried a piece of bread and it was all buttery and it was all fun and then the end and that’s how you make butter.

THE END

BIBLIOGRAPHY

1. Interview with Mom regarding cat, Lulu.
2. Visit to Old Town Scottsdale Farmers Market, interview with goat lotion purveyor.
3. YouTube, http://www.monkeysee.com/play/3274-how-to-milk-a-cow.
4. Interview and demonstration with Charleen Badman, chef at FnB restuaurant, Scottsdale.

Yeah, old chum, I know. The line is really “life is a cabaret.” Not in this house. In this house it’s a carousel. An “Olivia the Pig” carousel, to be exact. And all that spinning made me a little nauseous this weekend.

Valentines for 2 dozen kids (times 2) plus 2 science fair projects = 1 mom who completely forgot to pick up the 200-plus boxes of Girl Scout cookies.

Thank goodness we learned long ago to divide and conquer in our house, when it comes to science. Ray and Annabelle worked on her zoetrope project (another post on that later — it’s super cool, thanks in large part to Maya and her dad!) while Sophie and I took on the carousel.

Actually, Sophie and I had a little help. OK, a lot of help, beginning with some awesome recommendations on Facebook. But hardly ending there. I won’t tell you about that — I’ll let Sophie tell you. Here is the report she wrote, to go along with her carousel (above) and picture board presentation (below). And yes, okay, she had a little help with it, from me. But really, for the most part, these are Sophie’s words. We are both proud.

How does a carousel work?

First, I looked at pictures of carousels on the computer. I love them.

Raimie came over to my house and showed how the gears work. And you spin it and you can press the pedal and you can go to Disneyland and go on the carousel.

I drew a carousel. Here’s the picture: (We pasted the picture in.)

Then Mommy and I went on the double decker carousel. It’s fun. And it’s cute to do it. I like to do it a lot because I like to do it a lot. I went on the carousel six times. My favorite animal was the eagle.

The lady at the carousel wrote down some facts for us about the double decker carousel at Superstition Springs Mall. Here they are:

1. The carousel goes around 9 and a half times.

2. The carousel is modeled after a Victorian carousel.

3. The carousel is operated by a pedal.

Next, my whole family went to the Renaissance Festival and my sister and I tried to go on the carousel. Annabelle was too tall. I’m perfect. First I rode in the pink butterfly. The ladies made it work by pushing the wheel. They made it go forwards and backwards.

And we love to go to Disneyland and the Candy Cane Inn, we stay there for two days and come back on Sunday. And that’s the end.

Thank You Page

I want to thank Sarah, my best friend (“B”), because I can be her valentine.

I want to thank Mommy because I love her a lot and she’s cute and you’re always going on your computer. Mommy put the Olivias on the carousel after I decorate them.

And I want to thank Raimie because she showed me how the gears work. (Our friend Raimie has a lot of experience teaching fourth grade science; she masterminded the gears and built the parts of the carousel we later assembled. I owe her a cocktail!)

I want to thank Courtney, my friend. She helped me with the carousel by drawing the Olivias. She helped me build it.

I want to thank Daddy for bringing us to the carnival.

I want to thank my sister Annabelle. I love her and she’s cute and sometimes she’s sweet.

That’s the end!

It’s not the end — not quite. The projects are on display in the school gym all week. There’s a celebration Thursday night, and we’ll get the results then.