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	<title>Girl in a Party Hat &#187; preppy</title>
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		<title>&quot;Mommy, I dreamed the pool was filled with wasps!&quot; she screamed.</title>
		<link>http://girlinapartyhat.com/index.php/2008/05/mommy-i-dreamed-the-pool-was-filled-with-wasps-she-screamed/</link>
		<comments>http://girlinapartyhat.com/index.php/2008/05/mommy-i-dreamed-the-pool-was-filled-with-wasps-she-screamed/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 29 May 2008 06:14:56 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Amysilverman]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[country club]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[daughters]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mothers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[preppy]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[When I was in high school in the Eighties, I was all about the Preppy Handbook. Apparently it was written as a joke, but to me it was the Bible &#8212; the guide to a world I knew nothing about, an orbit that included The Hamptons, sailing, straight hair and big cities. I memorized the [&#8230;]]]></description>
				<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>When I was in high school in the Eighties, I was all about the Preppy Handbook. Apparently it was written as a joke, but to me it was the Bible &#8212; the guide to a world I knew nothing about, an orbit that included The Hamptons, sailing, straight hair and big cities. I memorized the book (no, really, whole passages!) and found the few places in Phoenix that sold the clothes I craved: oxford cloth button downs, espadrilles, and belts/purses/headbands with tiny frogs/whales/lady bugs embroidered on them, all in primary colors, plus, of course, a lot of pink and green.</p>
<p>I liked Preppy because to me it signaled All Things East Coast &#8212; that&#8217;s where prep schools are, after all &#8212; and what I wanted more than anything was to live far away, in a city like New York or Boston.</p>
<p>It never occurred to me that I could have truly lived the preppy life just a few blocks from my home, at the country club. Of course, back then, the Shmashmortion (sorry, no real names, but that brought to mind my favorite scene from &#8220;Knocked Up&#8221;) Country Club was truly exclusive.</p>
<p>There&#8217;s an old family story: that my sister (who was at the time in elementary school, and taking swim lessons at the country club, thanks for a family friend with a membership) woke up from a nightmare. &#8220;Mommy, I dreamed the pool was filled with wasps!&#8221; she screamed.</p>
<p>I&#8217;m not sure if that story&#8217;s true, but it&#8217;s too good not to repeat. And the broader truth, of course, is that the pool WAS filled with WASPs. I left high school for college, and by the time I&#8217;d graduated and moved to Washington, D.C. to take my first job, the only remnants in my wardrobe of the preppy thing were a few Laura Ashley pieces. I was a big liberal, really a socialist, I&#8217;d confide when tipsy on happy hour drinks, and I&#8217;d figured out what that whole preppy thing meant, and it didn&#8217;t include me, a JEW.</p>
<p>When I finished grad school and moved back to Phoenix to take my first newspaper job, I proudly wrote a front page story about how the country club refused membership to a prominent black businessman. And that is why, as you can imagine, I was shocked as sh*t (hey, can you cuss in a blog? I&#8217;m not sure) when my parents JOINED THE CLUB.</p>
<p>First, I was surprised the club wanted Jews. But my dad had just gotten a big promotion at work, so apparently Jews with Big Jobs were OK. (This was maybe 15 years ago.) My mom explained that they really didn&#8217;t want to belong to the club, but it has the best golf course in town. (My father&#8217;s one and only hobby.) So what could they do?</p>
<p>Then the club was remodeled. And I noticed my parents started going there &#8212; a lot. I refused, on principle.</p>
<p>Then I had kids. And still I held out, mostly. I gave in a couple times for Easter and Christmas parties, and I did let my mom take the girls by herself on occasion, but I didn&#8217;t truly stop plugging my nose til this spring, when Jenny came to town and wanted to celebrate all three of her kids&#8217; birthdays by the pool.</p>
<p>&#8220;Fine, but I&#8217;m not wearing a bathing suit,&#8221; I emailed her.</p>
<p>&#8220;Good,&#8221; she replied. &#8220;Because we&#8217;re skinny dipping.&#8221;</p>
<p>Turns out, there&#8217;s an awesome wading pool, just right for the kids, particularly Sophie. No need to strip down; they have lifeguards on duty. The pool glistens, it&#8217;s so clean. The sun shines just a little brighter. Sitting with my dad, watching the merriment, I had to admit it WAS sort of nice.</p>
<p>&#8220;But I don&#8217;t see a single minority,&#8221; I sniffed. &#8220;Not even an Asian.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;There&#8217;s one!&#8221; he called out, pointing.</p>
<p>Fine, but I didn&#8217;t see any brown skin, in any hue. And no one invited me to the Men&#8217;s Grill. Still, I had to admit that the girls had a super time. So this week, I decided it was more important to be a good mother and daughter than to make a stand no one was noticing anyhow. I threw my mom a bone.</p>
<p>&#8220;How about if we take the girls to the club to go swimming and have dinner?&#8221; I asked.</p>
<p>I&#8217;m sure she jumped out of her skin, but to her credit, appeared nonchalant. So we met there tonight and the best part &#8212; aside from one woman who, I kid you not, was wearing pink leather sandals monogrammed in pale green with her initials, to match her pastel patchwork pants, leading me to wonder to myself, &#8220;Did she have those in the Eighties? Or are they new?&#8221; &#8212; was that the place was DESERTED. Also, the weather was perfect. We&#8217;re experiencing a downright creepy spell of Global Cooling here in Phoenix, this month.</p>
<p>The girls waded in the pool, we ordered food (the canteloupe could not have been more perfectly ripe) and after dinner, Annabelle and Sophie gave a &#8220;performance&#8221; on the gorgeous green lawn while Mom and I reclined on thick striped cushions in oversized wicker chairs. (Which matched the kid-sized ones thoughtfully placed alongside them.)</p>
<p>Even I had to admit it was a lovely evening. Until, just as we were leaving, with nothing more than a small cough to signal what was coming, Sophie puked all over herself, me and the beautiful flagstone patio.</p>
<p>I take that as a sign. Of what, I&#8217;m not sure.</p>
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