Yesterday afternoon, I snuck out for lunch with someone I met on the Internet.

I didn’t tell my husband about it. I had an awesome time. And you know what? I’ll do it again.

I’m not sure how I met Lisa — maybe on Instagram, or through this blog. But for a while, I’ve been aware of this woman who recently moved to Northern California and has two kids — an older daughter named Annabelle and a younger kid with Down syndrome.

You might think we were first drawn to one another by the DS thing and I suppose that’s got to be how we initially “met.” But really, it was the fact that she had a blonde daughter named Annabelle that tickled me; you don’t see a lot of Annabelles out there. Slowly, we realized that Cooper and Sophie have a lot in common. And that we do, too. So when Lisa had a quick business trip to Phoenix this week, she messaged me that she had a couple extra hours — did I want to have lunch?

I did.

This isn’t the first time I’ve done this. I thank my lucky stars several times a week that said stars aligned and allowed me to meet Maya, mother to Leo and someone I have a ton in common with beyond that. She’s on my must-see list when I visit New York.

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And then there’s Elaine, who has her own Sophie. We met through our blogs and while Sophie doesn’t have Down syndrome, her mother and I both have American Studies degrees — and a lot to talk about. She’s a must-call in San Diego.

See also: A Tempered Response

(And of course there’s the amazing Robert Polk, whom I met when I did a piece for This American Life. He’s been a lifesaver in so many ways, even though he lives in Texas, his son is an adult, and we’ve never met….)

And so when Ray and I decided to take the girls to Washington, D.C. for Spring Break, one of my first thoughts was that I’d have to get ahold of Britt, Heather, Chrystal, Cate and Tricia — all friends I’ve made on Facebook, all moms of kids with DS who live in the area. I envisioned a crazy gathering at a coffee shop (hopefully one that serves cocktails) where all the kids could mix it up.

Ray didn’t like that idea at all.

“What are you doing meeting strangers?” he asked. “That’s weird. I don’t see you meeting moms of kids with Down syndrome here in Phoenix.”

It’s true. With the exception of one of my favorite people in the world, who has a daughter in Sophie’s class, I haven’t really made an effort. Because, while it might be weird to meet strangers, you know what else is weird? Having a kid with Down syndrome. It’s really fucking weird and just because you have one doesn’t mean someone else with one is going to want to be your friend — and you might not want to be theirs.

And so while I met and married Ray at work, the old-fashioned way, long before Internet dating became vogue, I get the appeal. You can test the waters, check the person out. Do they have the same interests, a similar way of looking at the world? Do you like the same books and movies? Does it sound like your kids might get along?

So yes, yesterday I drove over to Lisa’s hotel and picked her up and took her to my favorite restaurant and we had an awesome lunch and even took a selfie in the parking lot to commemorate it. Later in the day, Sophie had Special Olympics — her cheer team performed at a basketball game. I’d been thinking all day about my lunch with Lisa, about why I don’t reach out to people who live here (too close? is that the real truth?) and so at a moment during last night’s game when I’d typically stare at my phone, instead I stuck my hand out and introduced myself to another mom.

She was a nice woman, her daughter is 20 and has DS and is finishing up high school, getting ready to start a work program at a hotel and frankly, the mom seemed pretty depressed about the whole thing. We didn’t get a chance to discuss the last episode of Girls or talk about our jobs and when Sophie approached the woman’s daughter later and asked her for a play date the girl looked at Sophie like she was crazy and I couldn’t blame her — the girl is twice her age.

All they have in common is Down syndrome.