Comments on: High School By the Numbers: Four Years, Zero Friends (Guest Post)

By: Amysilverman

Amysilverman — Tue, 22 May 2018 00:13:30 +0000

I wouldn’t say this is all solutions, but a few ideas — and some insight…. http://girlinapartyhat.com/index.php/2018/05/this-is-what-inclusion-in-high-school-looks-like-and-its-not-always-pretty-but-once-in-a-while-its-pretty-awesome/

By: Chensterz

Chensterz — Fri, 18 May 2018 12:14:46 +0000

Solutions?
This is our HS story too.
It’s so sad to see our kids be strangers in their own school community.
Please, post solutions of strategies that work, someone, anyone?!?

By: Tony Nuara

Tony Nuara — Mon, 16 Apr 2018 18:21:44 +0000

These tears at my heart. Things are so different these days. Kids seem more abusive and excluding than ever. I was an odd duck, but I still managed a social circle. I watch my two daughters struggle with ADHD and the aftermath of a divorce. I used to say I would be furious at the person who robbed my eldest daughter of her outgoing nature. I am scared for my youngest daughter. Like me she is introverted. She doesn’t let on that she is sad to be alone, but I see it.

By: Glenda

Glenda — Fri, 13 Apr 2018 05:52:58 +0000

This hurts my heart. I am sad for all of the kids who have so much to offer as friends who aren’t given the opportunity because they are seen as more different than alike. My son has Down syndrome, is in preschool and he doesn’t seem to have friends the same way his classmates do. He is so, so social so everyone is his friend but I’m not sure any of the other students would classify him as a friend. Thankfully he doesn’t care. Everyone is a friend he hasn’t had the pleasure of meeting yet. This is the issue I worried about when we received a prenatal diagnosis. This is the issue I worry about now as he attends preschool, this is the issue I worry about in the short-term as he gets ready to enter kindergarten and this is what I worry about in the long-term as he enters middle school and high school and beyond. I’m an introvert so I was never great at the whole making friends thing anyway so I’m going to be no help. But as a society we have to figure out ways to help foster connections. I guess I’m going to have to try to figure out a way to be part of the solution, but it royally sucks that this is just one more thing that isn’t easy for our kids or for us as their parents.

By: Carly

Carly — Tue, 10 Apr 2018 12:54:26 +0000

Hi,

I am a university student from Canada, this article was shared on my Facebook newsfeed. My high school had a great program called best buddies, where general education students and special education students were paired together throughout high school, a lot of true friendships were formed this way. I was not a part of best buddies, but I had friends who were, and through this I made 2 friends with different needs and abilities. I would suggest looking for a high school, (and college) that has programs similar to this. My university has it too! As now, I work with the H’art Centre in Kingston Ontario, and have the pleasure of hanging with 2 great friends with down syndrome (we love to go for drinks too). These programs help make becoming friends with people of different abilities more approachable.

I used to be afraid that I would be insensitive to their needs, but best buddies helped bridge that gap.

By: Cindy Anderson

Cindy Anderson — Tue, 10 Apr 2018 05:59:07 +0000

As I read this I was transported back to my daughter’s high school experience. I could have written this post. You’ve described my daughter’s 4 years of high school. Exactly described it. One memory that still stands out is watching Beth at graduation. She and the other seniors in her special ed class were sitting in the front row and when it came time to switch the tassels, Beth just looked around, trying to see what everyone was doing. Confused and struggling to find the tassel she couldn’t easily see, I sat in the bleachers wondering why no one explained to these students what would happen that day; what would be expected of them; how to move the tassel from one side of their cap to the other. She didn’t figure it out in time and no one helped her. No one helped any of those students in the front row. It almost makes me cry thinking about it. But you know what? Beth didn’t care. She bounded out of that stadium with a smile a mile wide! She loved high school! She loved riding the bus. She loved her teachers. (I’m the one with the issues!) Now she’s in her 30s and she’s very content with this season of her life. I have so much to learn from her.

By: Melissa Weinman

Melissa Weinman — Tue, 10 Apr 2018 03:48:31 +0000

I am lucky enough to call Sharon a “friend” and what I want everyone to realize is that Sophia is the luckiest girl in the world to have Sharon as her Mom! At the end of the day friends will come and go, but Moms are forever! And forever is what you will be Sharon, my dear friend that loves her daughter! For that, the world is a better place!

By: Jo Chopra-McGowan

Jo Chopra-McGowan — Tue, 10 Apr 2018 02:57:47 +0000

I run a Foundation in India providing education and other services to kids with disabilities from birth to 21. Every time we talk about mainstreaming our kids, we finally end up at this big stumbling block: what about friends? Because the one thing our kids definitely have in our current set-up is friends. Real friends. Friends they fight with, laugh with, cry about and dream of. They have crushes on each other and secret affairs. They tease each other, write each other notes and gossip in corners.

This totally normal stuff is the reason I continue to have doubts about inclusive education. You can’t force friendship. It emerges like magic from shared affinities and affection. You can’t prescribe it or write it as a goal in an IEP. And if I had to choose between inclusion and friendship (and it looks like we do), I’d choose friendship every time.

By: Niki Meyers

Niki Meyers — Tue, 10 Apr 2018 01:38:42 +0000

I am a school district classified (non teaching/support) employee with quite a few years experience in Special Education. I am currrently employed as the Administrative Assistant at an elementary school. I am consistently surprising my special education teachers by asking if their students will be attending the field trips and special events and if I need to arrange busing or support staff to assist. They have never been asked these questions, but all means all! It needs to start with inclusion actually meaning inclusion. While this may not help Sophia it may help other parents realize they need to stay informed on what is happening on campus and help call attention to staff that No Child Left Behind means no child left behind. We all need to work on this as a society. Sending kind thoughts, hugs and hopes that there is a good place for Sophia to grow and thrive.

By: Stefanie

Stefanie — Mon, 09 Apr 2018 19:42:51 +0000

I feel sad for Sophia. Everybody should feel included in their school experience- be it elementary school or high school. How will Sophia manage post high school? Just saying.