Comments on: Still Life with Santa Claus and Sophie

By: Amysilverman

Amysilverman — Thu, 02 Jan 2014 19:49:17 +0000

You love the one you’re with.

Thank you, Elaine. Your insights are one of my very favorite things about this blog and if you didn’t already know that, you need to. Happy New Year! xo

By: Elaine

Elaine — Thu, 02 Jan 2014 18:58:22 +0000

Amy, once again your stories have reminded me of my own stories. Here’s what this post makes me think of: when I was growing up, I got to watch an elderly man at my church taking care of his ailing wife. Bernice Olton had advanced alzheimers, the kind that made her sometimes come back from the bathroom wearing her underwear outside her clothes. That kind of elderly helplessness that was shocking to seven-year-old me.

Charlie Olton was endlessly patient with Bernice, hugging her all the time, gently wiping the spittle off her chin, guiding her through the world that was growing increasingly confusing to her.

One day, I heard another adult tell Charlie, “Wow, Bernice really must have been something special. I can tell by how lovingly you care for her now.”

Charlie reacted with surprise at the very idea. “Well, Bernice has always been terrific,” he said. “But that’s not why I care for her. I’m not paying her back for earlier good years. It doesn’t work that way. You just love the one you’re with, now, whoever they are. That’s all.”

Charlie was right. Charlie is right. You love the one you’re with, whoever they are.

Watching Charlie and Bernice’s marriage may have been one of the deepest lessons I learned in church, far deeper than any sermon the minister gave.

By: Leah

Leah — Tue, 31 Dec 2013 04:59:16 +0000

Again, Amy, very similar thoughts….right down to the heart b.s. and “the” alzheimer’s, that I worried about just yesterday. And that Holiday, at just less than 9 years old, does not believe anymore but humored us this year I am sure, And that Miles may always believe, and that aches my heart even worse.

By: Cole

Cole — Tue, 31 Dec 2013 00:35:19 +0000

Hmmmm…I know, always the contrarian…blah…blah…blah. I know what you mean. I do. It is different. It enables others stereotypes in a way that others believing doesn’t and that sucks. And it sucks that that suckage is tied to something so lovely like belief in good, and love and kindness. Maddie- our 7 year old, yes she’s still in the believable believing age, but she told me that this boy in her class who is very smart and knows lots of information (her words) told her that Santa doesn’t exist. I waited to see what would follow and she went on to say that she believes. I asked her why she believes if he doesn’t. She said because Santa has magic. She believes in magic. I smiled and changed the subject.

By: Susan Sarason

Susan Sarason — Tue, 31 Dec 2013 00:05:06 +0000

Stefanie asked me to read blog of her newly found cousin. Leonard and I have gone through all the ups, downs, diagnoses and misdiagnoses over the years. The most important lesson we learned was nothing is certain and nothing is predictable. Our lovely daughter surpassed all dire predictions. She has several friends with Downs who are leading happy and productive lives. Life is interesting.

By: cheryl

cheryl — Mon, 30 Dec 2013 21:39:22 +0000

Don’t be in such a hurry to lose the magic, Amy. Hubby and I agreed a long time ago that our autobiography might one day be called: “Santa Always Lives in Our Home”. Frankly, I cannot imagine it any other way. There is something special in the belief in something “bigger/ better/ more giving” then the norm. In the mind of our children, who’s to say that can’t be Santa, a religious figure or ???… but, really, does it matter? They believe in something. I love the idea that things might always play out on that continiuim, and I almost fear the day when our reality overshadows theirs.