Comments on: Thank You for Reading This

By: David F

David F — Sun, 17 Nov 2013 17:06:37 +0000

The principal’s set the vision. And if the school doesn’t want to make something work, I don’t care if you bring in parent advocates or legal counsel, it still won’t work. Everyone has to be on board. At our school, I created a preschool inclusion. You would never know who had jeps or not. In most schools, they have a teacher at each grade level that has the inclusion class. In my eyes, that’s not inclusion. Any one of my teachers can have a student with special needs, ell, Erica, behavior. We all treat them differently and try to meet their needs with the parents supporting.

By: Amysilverman

Amysilverman — Sun, 17 Nov 2013 16:52:45 +0000

I agree 100% David — it’s about the teachers. But I’ve had experience with both good and bad principals and I know you are pretty darn important, too.

By: Amysilverman

Amysilverman — Sun, 17 Nov 2013 16:51:17 +0000

Thank you Elaine. That’s exactly it: We can help on an individual level, and that’s not to be sneezed at. But the broader picture? Ugh.

By: Elaine

Elaine — Sun, 17 Nov 2013 15:44:26 +0000

I am so troubled by this, just as you are. In my case, it is less stark than charter vs public. Instead, I grew up in an expensive East Coast suburb with superb public schools. I settled in an expensive West Coast suburb with superb public schools. I know this is unfair self-segregation, and I don’t know what to do about it.

I know how to help my local school. Last week, when the teacher said a few families still had not paid the $3 each required to bring a theater group to school, I slipped her an extra $20. She thanked me and explained that if I hadn’t volunteered, she would have paid her own money out of her own pocket, as she normally does. Just the regular heartbreaking story from a teacher. I know how to help her classroom, but I don’t know how to help the whole system. I think it’s a conundrum for every progressive parent and I am glad you’ve called attention to it.

By: David F

David F — Sun, 17 Nov 2013 15:33:40 +0000

Great post. I too am a parent of a child with Down Syndrome but I’m also an elementary school principal. It doesn’t matter if you send your daughter to public, private, charter, home school, virtual school it’s all about the teacher. We can debate who has better teachers but my mantra is “I would send my child to the worst school in the district, if I can pick their teachers!”. And being in education we don’t get many perks but I will be selfish and out my kids in the beat teachers classrooms. And I do this knowing that I have placed other kids in the worst teachers classrooms. I do my best to get rid of those teachers but sometimes that doesn’t happen. By the way, that is what makes a Charter School better. You can get rid of the poor teachers.

By: Amysilverman

Amysilverman — Sun, 17 Nov 2013 14:04:25 +0000

Sarah — First, please don’t apologize for de-lurking (an awesome word) to be critical — that’s what it’s all about, it’s what my friend’s note to me was, in its way. And of course what that poem was. And what my blog is, in a lot of ways. In my clumsy way, in this case I was trying to explain that I was calling myself on the carpet — I do believe it’s easy as a parent (of any kid, of an circumstance) to focus so hard on your own kid you do forget the big picture. I don’t think any of us mean to do it; but we do it. So I wasn’t trying to be flip as much as honest. As parents, we’re all selfish (remember, this is just my own opinion). Otherwise, why bring a kid into the world? And I hope every parent advocates for their own kid. I worry constantly that Sophie’s taking resources that should go to other kids, but at the same time — what am I supposed to do? Advocate for my child. Is that selfish? Sometimes. Is it selfish to believe that charter schools are bad for the big picture and still put my kids in them? Yes. Does that mean I’m damming all the other children? Even I, in my guilt, fall short of agreeing with that one. I’m not sure this explains it any better and I apologize for that.

By: Sarah C.

Sarah C. — Sat, 16 Nov 2013 05:00:54 +0000

“Parenting is selfish by definition, if you do it right. You fight and scrape for your kid. Damn the rest.”

As a relatively new parent, I find this attitude a little frightening. Don’t we have some responsibility for the welfare of all children? Doesn’t this attitude particularly harm children with disabilities? I don’t understand how you expect me to support Sophie’s right to the significant (and expensive) educational apparatus she requires when you profess not to care about any child not yours. I would rather have things be a little fairer for everyone than have my own child come out on top due to societal privilege. And actually, except for a good education (thank you community-supported public schools and branch state university) and white skin I don’t have a lot of privilege, which is probably one reason your post hit a nerve.

No doubt you were being flip and intentionally hyperbolic and the (lovely) rest of your post is meant as commentary. I have enjoyed your blog so much over the past year, and am sorry to de-lurk only to be critical. I do understand the desire to fight for your child’s needs. I just don’t think that necessarily means “damning” everyone else’s children.

By: Sarah C.

Sarah C. — Sat, 16 Nov 2013 05:00:54 +0000

“Parenting is selfish by definition, if you do it right. You fight and scrape for your kid. Damn the rest.”