One of the things that shocked me most about his son was the way that his ex-wife dresses him. There’s really no kind way to put it – she dresses him like a retard. Most often just in clothes that are ill fitting, too big, too small, designed for an old man – whatever, she takes no care and he just looks awful and retarded. We get it, he is retarded. I know it’s a horrible term, but some times at it’s most base it really is easier to just call a spade a spade.

But.

He’s got enough problems, he’s obvious enough. The way he looks, the way he behaves, the strange and loud noises he makes – everything about him screams “I’m autistic”.

But for f$@k’s sake why make it More obvious, More ridicule worthy by dressing him like a complete tard?

I don’t get it. Give the kid a chance, stop dressing him as a parody, a caracature of what you think he is. Here’s the sickest part – Apparently, according to my husband she dresses him like this because she wants people to feel sorry for him, take pity.

When he stays with us, I dress him in cool clothes, the kinds of clothes the other kids wear, and I swear I see him stand up a little straighter. I feel giving him what small advantage I can – even if its just clothes that are stylish, and fit well, it’s onle less hurdle, one less prejudice directed at him.

I saw the other parents carefully ignoring Bridget, not knowing what to do with this sweet, responsible, irresponsible, stubborn girl. I saw the other parents seemingly scared of this girl with DS.

And I thought of you and all I’ve learned from reading girlinapartyhat. So I stepped in, repeated the instructions clearly, helped guide this stubborn girl with DS.

Throughout the carwash, I kept checking in with Bridget, making sure she used the bristly scrubbing brush on the wheels only (not the paint), and the window-washer-rags on the windows only. Her mom was busy with another sibling, and it seemed like no one else wanted to deal with Bridget’s recalcitrance.

So thank you. Thanks for letting me know that DS can include stubbornness, and that DS is not at all scary. Thanks for letting me see a DS kid as just another kid.