Comments on: Head Games: A Year Later, I’m Still Wondering if Sophie Has the Cognitive Abilities of a 3-Year-Old

By: starrlife

starrlife — Wed, 09 May 2012 22:58:01 +0000

Thanks KM- Right on the head. WooHoo- we got it going !

By: Kittymama

Kittymama — Sun, 29 Apr 2012 19:31:24 +0000

starrlife, I’m so glad it got you going. We do absolutely need everybody. And no fetus asks to have outstanding cognitive skills any more than they ask to have Down syndrome. (And Amy, as I’ll never be anybody’s mom, you can toss my whole perspective out, too, if I’m being offensive or clueless.)

Is my brain “better” because I can explain it? If I can function more easily and be safer in this nutty world, obviously it’s less work and worry for my loved ones, but there’s nothing inherently superior about me. I’m missing out on things Sophie is experiencing just as surely as the other way around.

I know this is far from being the point, Amy, but I love Blue’s Clues, and I remember when Sophie was just starting to walk, and now she runs faster than bigger kids (and probably faster than I could run back when I could run) and is as creative as anyone in her family.

Not many kids can read and write at 3 — I could, but that wasn’t “normal,” either — so if that’s Sophie’s brain, it’s amazing, and I’ve never ever believed what that psychologist said.

It’s like those people at the adult center who didn’t know Robrt’s mom can play gin. Or what we have to (I think) ask ourselves about people on, for example, the autism spectrum — is there a particular reason they have to understand us instead of the other way around? Whose journey is harder? And which one is going to expand our horizons more?

Got me going, too, apparently.

By: starrlife

starrlife — Tue, 17 Apr 2012 12:43:22 +0000

Dare I say, that when this guy enters your brain you need to say to him in your head what would’ve been my response to him in that g-d mtg -”f – you”! It’s powerfully therapeutic.
On a more serious note (not that I really don’t talk like that in my own head but you may be more ladylike) –
Intellectualism is rampant in this country in particular and I am becoming more and more opinionated about it as I go along.
Who says that having a certain amount of “cognitive abilities” is even important? It’s a crock of s… that they sell us to promote the business of intellectual factories they call schools.Look at how they teach and what they teach. Most kids today are intellectually burnt out by 1th grade and teachers are stripped of their personal gifts by a system that values “measuring”. The world is full of people who are not high IQ, full of them. Are they not contributing members? Do we not need people who have all kinds of interests and abilities? Of course we do.
Sophie is a beautiful, sparkling spirit who has gifts to share and a future that will be full and you know what- academics will not play any role at all in that process unless we let it.
Guess you got me going there…..
I should’ve just said – Hugs to you Amy. You are way too hard on yourself and not nearly hard enough on those jerks. xo

By: teeps

teeps — Mon, 16 Apr 2012 13:15:10 +0000

The BMOC didn’t need to ask her name. He already knows who she is, or better yet, knows that her (harmful) input isn’t needed here.

In my tenth year of teaching, I have never been more frustrated with IEP meetings than this year (I co-teach). More than half of them haven’t even been attended by a parent. (Think of a 16-year-old boy sitting through this process all by himself!) One parent played with her iPhone through the entire meeting.

I know why my expectations are so high, Amy. It’s your fault because (from your example) I see how earnestly and energetically we must advocate not just for our own children but for what’s right and good in classrooms, on campuses, and in the world.

I agree with the adaptive PE teacher (ours is one of the best teachers on campus — funny how testing and teaching are so often at odds). Soon, Sophie will be sitting in those meetings, too, and that psychologist will be the one sucking wind.

By: Amysilverman

Amysilverman — Sun, 15 Apr 2012 18:15:09 +0000

No, not TBI. Metaphorical.

By: TUC

TUC — Sat, 14 Apr 2012 17:23:10 +0000

I don’t know why but this post made me really sad when I know that the climax is actually a very good thing. I guess because right now I am fighting to get Masha into Gen Ed Kindy with modifications and support… and everyone is treating me like I am in some sort of denial about my girl. (I am not, I understand her strengths and weaknesses very well.)

Isn’t it crazy how someone can say something and it warps you, like some sort of mental car crash, for a long long time.

By: Meriah

Meriah — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 18:55:10 +0000

Oh wait – so the brain damage isn’t actually TBI? It’s a haunting memory that hurts? (not trying to be an ass; just wanting to clarify since I got all excited thinking you have TBI too)

I’m with the previous commenter all the way

By: Robert Polk

Robert Polk — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 18:39:41 +0000

Amy, you’re doing well and you’re doing good. Go treat yourself to a big ol’ Bob Hug from a worthy surrogate.

By: Eric Schaefer

Eric Schaefer — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 18:07:02 +0000

Kind of like when Lucas’ geneticist said “he’ll never walk or talk, and he’ll die young.”

He’s 6 now, walking, running and he won’t shut the hell up.

I don’t like anyone making generalizations or setting limitations for our special kiddos. They can all fuck off, as far as I’m concerned.