Comments on: A Retarded Conversation

By: Sherrie Medina

Sherrie Medina — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 18:19:08 +0000

Amy, I thought I would share this area of focus in the weekly school newsletter from Luma’s school. I enjoyed your post on the “r” word and have thought a lot about your thinking especially as it is a word that has been bumping around in our family’s vocabulary and discussed regularly as something that is to be avoided. Being around preteens lately quite a bit I am also surprised at how young boys/men use the word “gay” also. I restrain myself from having a conversation since I am never quite sure how far to go with other people’s children. Anyways, here is what was in the newsletter this morning….***

The R Word
Students and staff, you have the power to help eliminate the demeaning use of the R-word, or “retard” –a common taunt used to make fun of others. When you use the R-word with your friends because they are clumsy, or make a mistake, what you are doing, whether you know it or not, is enabling a hurtful stereotype of people with intellectual disabilities. It’s time to stop. This Thursday, during your lunch period, you can take the pledge to stop using the R-word and begin promoting respect.

By: Starrlife

Starrlife — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 02:26:00 +0000

Amy, sorry I know this is an oh so serious topic but you just made me laugh so much. I so appreciate this dilemma and the crazy veering back and forth from one pole to the other. It IS just a word and words are tools aren’t they? Symbols that have applied meaning to a linguist. So, that means that until the word Retarded (with a Capitol R) is redefined as meaning ” just the way everyone should strive to be” then it associates to our kids in a negative way. Perhaps what we bloggers are doing is just that eh? Redefining the term?
Love and hugs

By: Robert Polk

Robert Polk — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 22:57:56 +0000

I was gonna defend the R word again, but Grayson’s post holds the trump.

“Oh, the material I could give you on parenting a dead kid.” Can’t touch that.

God Bless You, Nancy Grayson. Hugs to you and Joel and Amy and family.

By: Susan Unmacht

Susan Unmacht — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 20:33:43 +0000

I am old in this Amy…you probably vaguely remember my history. I’m the kind they call “drunk” or “druggie” or nicely or otherwise “alcoholic”. I’ve been called “homeless” and yes-the ‘r’ was applied as a kid struggling in school. Been clean & sober for a long, long time now (thank God) but the words stick around. I like recovering…but alot of people seem not to like that one either.I have an adult child who has been called ‘r’ word, ‘weird’ and was shunned while matriculating in school. Been there & have a closet full of sweat shirts.
So, I struggle with this. I can choose to be a harpy and/or an educator in public. But I am not going to tolerate it within my personal world. I don’t invite jerks & asses into my personal space…I pick my friends with care & there is a two strike limit: I tell you once-you don’t listen, you can’t be trusted, you’re out. I am quite hard because my personal space is where I do not need to crusade but to work live, rest and heal. I am on the firing line for others as well-it’s the work I do, so I am pretty damn quick at identifying the context & intent. My job is to address those things and I am not known for being wishy washy…If I offended you, I apologize.
I have lived in a world addicted to the fantasy of normal for over sixty years. I have great compassion for people but low tolerance for ignorance and zero tolerance for bullies whether they have a doctorate or are just Joe/Jane schmuck on the street.
I pick my battles and my degree of exposure….and I am hardened because I’ve been there and carried the rocks.

By: Nancy Kate Grayson

Nancy Kate Grayson — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 20:15:48 +0000

I’m going blind from a genetic issue, thanks mom and dad, these are people that don’t’ talk about it…
I’m ok when I use the term blind, would you help be here I have a visual problem, yet get my hair up when someone else jokes about what I can or can’t see. Can’t you see THAT – ‘no’.
What well find that seeing eye dog of yours: don’t have one and can see well enough for most daily tasks.
Hurt feelings arise, I’m 57 if it were my kid I’d really have that grizzle going on. I have decide this year to truly try and not to take it all so personal, every person, and situation is different.

My son had he survived would be a 12 year old special needs boy, so my heart is learning from reading your thoughts. Oh, the material I could give you on parenting a dead kid, and I do, is different parenting yet a topic all on its own. The grief / dead kid topic has really had a beat up even now in the elections, so it is a daily swim.

Bless you Amy for all you share, hugs from Joel’s mom
Nancy Grayson

Your friends are terrific to read about too, let me know if your all out for margaritas sometime, first hand listening would make my day.