Comments on: I’m Happy, Damnit

By: starrlife

starrlife — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 21:53:03 +0000

Yep- it’s hard work but what fun it can be! I feel like parenting is one of the great joys of my life-before I was so selfish and just playing around in so many ways.I’m like you- always low grade depressed with one severe episode that meds for a few months seem to have evaporated. But though hectic and often overwhelming as my life is right now- I am happy and my daughter brings me joy!

By: Unlikely Commenter

Unlikely Commenter — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 02:55:01 +0000

I just happened to read this….will tell you the randomness when I see you. It was a great read! I’ve never thought anything so personal, much less written it for everyone to read. Keep up the good work (ha)!

By: kathymonkman

kathymonkman — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 06:26:35 +0000

gorgeous, just gorgeous (it took me all freaking day to get on here and read this…and it was worth the wait).

By: Mary Ellen

Mary Ellen — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 20:28:37 +0000

How did you get to be so wise?

By: maya

maya — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 19:16:17 +0000

Beautiful post Amy. I’m teary and (shock) agree with so much of what you said here. I completely relate.

It seems counterintuitive, doesn’t it, that giving up nearly all of your free time, having two little people (one of whom has special needs) who depend so very much on you, could cure you of depression, but it’s true. I look back on my 20s and think about how much time I spent feeling sorry for myself for a variety of reasons, none of which are very interesting. It was hard when Leo was born for sure, but when he came along, something clicked. And with the second, it was in full force. In a way, there’s no time to be down, you know? (I realize this is completely simplistic and there are certainly parents out there who struggle with depression and their struggles are totally valid and true). But for me it just wasn’t the case. I truly believe my children saved me. It’s just that simple. True, my life is way more aggravating but at the same time, way more fulfilling.

I’ve been wanting to post about the New York mag piece (I agree-great headline) but you did it so well, I really don’t have to (although by the looks of this comment I guess I probably do have a post in me–oops).

One more thing about New York Mag–I’m convinced they hate kids and think anyone who has them is an idiot. I really think they love to write about how stupid parents are most of the time. I just don’t have a lot of respect for that pub. But they do run some “sexy” stories that make it hard not to look away. But, grain of salt, you know?

And wow, BIYB. Sorry.

By: amy

amy — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 19:02:41 +0000

elaine — as usual, you are so wise! i forgot that e.b. white wrote that line about good writers — i’ve been stealing it from him for years, apparently.

todd — i think parenting is like law-making, the way they always say law-making is like sausage-making: you don’t necessarily want to see it in progress.

living is ugly. you have to take chances to make it worth it. one of the biggest: having kids. it’s risky on so many levels i can’t count them all.

but if there was ever a reason to have kids, todd, it would be so they would turn out to be exactly like you and robrt. how lucky are/were your parents?!?!?!?!

By: Elaine

Elaine — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 13:53:59 +0000

You are doing it right. Because you know that line in Strunk & White where E.B.White wrote that anyone who thinks they’re a good writer probably isn’t? Good writers are the ones who know how much better they can be. Same for good parents. And I’m glad you’re doing both.

By: Todd

Todd — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 07:13:42 +0000

First of all, let me say what a lovely piece this is, particularly considering the sleep deprived state under which it was written. Secondly, let me state that I am not, and never will be a parent, so I have no idea what I’m talking about. But, I can say that as a teacher for the last 25 or so years, it is rare that I actually observe what I would deem true happiness and joy in the parenting process. So from an outsider, it certainly appears, particularly in recent years, that parenting is not all it is cracked up to be (I’m also currently reading Erma Bombeck’s “Just Wait Till You Have Children of Your Own!” which might be influencing my opinion). I don’t doubt that there are joys to parenting that I will never, ever experience, but the current shtick seems to be that of the ever-complaining parent. So thank you Amy, for bringing more light to this subject. I think you are spot on in saying that it is merely the appearance of unhappiness that is being noted. I can say, however, with relative certainty, that I would be a completely miserable parent, and am more than a little content with my adult-only lot in life (at least in my personal life – my professional life is another story).

By: heather hales

heather hales — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 01:22:04 +0000

drat! I made a comment (nice and insightful) this morning, but I guess it didn’t show up!

Thank you for the link, a great read! However there are some things I think the author neglected to mention- any researching on those SAHM’s, or single income families. Also, she didn’t even touch on the whole “me centered” society we live in. If we go through parenting still thinking of “me”, we won’t be happy for sure!

I commented to my FIL (while my 8 yo was having a HUGE meltdown) that even if I could fast forward to their 18th birthdays I wouldn’t. I learn so much more about myself through them.

parenting brings the highest highs and lowest lows.

By: Robert Polk

Robert Polk — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 01:11:47 +0000

You’re doing fine! You’re reasonably normal. And honest. And fulfilling your writing passion simultaneously, touching many hearts. You have lots of classy friends. You introduced me to Ray & kathymonkman. I give you an A.