So here’s my story in defense of orthotic art:

Captain Kickstand gave it to me when we were both working to get bike lanes in our small Connecticut town. To call attention to bicyclists’ needs, and also just for the heck of it, we used to create monthly unauthorized bike parade parties. I did a lot of work on this, since it was far more fun than writing my dissertation. CK had found the braced shoe in the garbage near his house, felt like mounting it just like taxidermists mount fish, and then he felt like turning it into an award to a citizen who worked for non-motorized transport. The award ceremony involved a lot of bicyclists with kazoos and then, I think, a bonfire. It made perfect sense at the time.

You have a talent for making me remember random stories.