Comments on: re: a favor

By: Suzanne

Suzanne — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 18:22:54 +0000

A few years ago I was at my parents’ house and my step-father was watching a baseball game and the fans were doing the tomahawk chop. There was then some discussion about how Native Americans said they were offended and my step-father thought that was ridiculous. And then my mother said “if someone says that something you say or do hurts their feelings, why would you continue to do it? To purposely hurt them?”

Is it that hard to respect other people’s feelings?

By: Kathy

Kathy — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 11:23:06 +0000

Unbelievable. I’m speechless. Not like you were trying to censor this person thru their entire life but around you? This is just basic courtesy….which a basic asshole obviously can’t figure out. Blech!

By: Elaine

Elaine — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 04:06:14 +0000

Oh my goodness. Their insensitivity is shocking. I can only assume that they’re both being assholes to avoid facing their own guilt at being so offensive. I am so sorry you have to work with them.

By: Susan Tully

Susan Tully — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 00:40:22 +0000

A stunning response from your boss and your co-worker. They are in the wrong, period. I can think of other terms that used to be in “common parlance” that are now considered so offensive that one could practically be accused of a hate crime just for using them. Your paper is indeed very progressive, but your co-workers are WAY behind the times on this one. (And BTW I can’t believe that they are even taking that stance when undoubtedly you have developed a relationship with both of them… it should be beside the point that they consider the word “common” or their love of the first ammendment, blah, blah, blah… if it is offensive to you, and you have a courteous relationship with them, then they should have enough decency to stop using it in your presence at the very least. Their responses had to be very hurtful to you and I am sorry for that.

By: Heather B.W.

Heather B.W. — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 21:30:36 +0000

Frankly I am a bit ill. This is a colleague? YIKES!

By: Robert Polk

Robert Polk — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 21:12:53 +0000

Umm-ungh. That’s onomatopoeia for a big ol’ hug.

By: Robert Polk

Robert Polk — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 21:10:24 +0000

The issue of the word “retard” was well stated above.

As for me, a health care professional BTW, I am unabashed about telling folks that my child is (mentally) retarded, or sometimes more discretely, was “in special ed.” Yet it’s not unusual for folks to chide me for using the word “retarded”. Now, I’m a bit Asperger-ish, so I am unable to perceive that being(mentally) retarded needs to be masked by careful euphimisms. Similarly, why not just say somebody “died” vs. “passed away.” I digress.

For folks to use the term “retard”, I think, usually comes from ignorance, and I can forgive folks who don’t live with retardation like we do. But there is NO excuse for them to twist the knife once you have asked them for some grace in their language. Words do indeed hurt, and I hurt for you when that happens..

We are bigger people than they, by virtue of our unique experience. I appreciate all of you for contributing, and for the things we share in common.

Here’s a big ‘ol Bob hug for everybody. Umm-ungh.

By: TUC

TUC — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 21:04:36 +0000

I am shocked at your co-worker’s (and your boss’) response. Working at a newspaper is no excuse for using that type of language. And I am thinking starrlife is correct, using a derogatory term for a homosexual person in front of one at work would probably not be tolerated as well as using a horrible term like the N-word. Point that out to your boss, he needs an education.

By: michelle

michelle — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 19:57:19 +0000

You should tell him that “(insert derogatory term here-not sure if I can write what I am really thinking ) is also ‘common parlance’ and from now on you will be addressed as such!” I just bristle when I hear people use that word–I am sorry that you have to deal with that issue at work!!

By: Linda

Linda — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 18:32:14 +0000

Ridiculous! Hard to believe anyone wouldn’t be appalled at having it pointed out to them how awful this is!